Great Weekend
Our first party, barbecue and campfire of the year were great. My food turned out just the way I wanted, everyone had a great time, I drank a lot, no one fell into the fire, the kids enjoyed themselves and our guests even bought us breakfast in the morning. It really couldn't have been better.
I got a lot of compliments on our house this weekend. Sure, we still have lots of work to do and it's not perfect, but I'm beginning to see it through more than just my own overly-critical eye. I don't know why it's so hard for me to do that, why I can't just enjoy my home instead of constantly having a running dialogue with myself about what needs work and what needs to change. Sometimes I feel like I should be apologizing for the state of my home, which is just stupid. I'm proud of my house and what we've done with it. I'm doing myself a disservice every time I make excuses for it and I know this is detrimental. I am going to just stop it.
Compliments have always been hard for me to take. I love receiving them, but my first instinct is to deny it and either act the martyr or expose myself as some kind of fraud. Instead of saying thanks and being pleased, I'll put myself down or illustrate that in fact I did not do a good job, I missed a spot here, see? Then I'll point out other faults. I'm going to just stop this, too. Part of this stems from the fact that I want people to be honest and tell me when something sucks, be it my knitting, cooking or home improvements and decorating. Another part is upbringing; I'm supposed to be humble and modest. I know I'm taking modesty too far when I will go to the trouble of pointing out the flaws in my own work. I am cutting this out, now. There is a difference between being constructively critical of myself and my work in terms of wanting to improve my skills, and putting myself down needlessly when someone says something nice.
Anyway, I'm good enough, smart enough and people like me.
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Comments
I am the exact same way. Could not take a compliment if my life depended on it. Seems to be an art in itself, taking one well and with class. Glad to hear you had a good get-together. Makes it all worth it.
Lisa · May 1 · 9:35 AM
I'm glad everything went well. I had a really fun time at the party on Friday too. Yeah for us, we are still in the party loop! So, see ya' on Wed or Fri this week? Also, have you done your homework YET?!!!?
*littlestar. · May 1 · 9:36 AM
Lisa, it sure does. :D
Littlestar, I will do my homework TODAY! (My homework is joining the neighbourhood beach association so I can get a key to the beach at the end of my street.) Wednesday's good this week, I'll email you.
Maggie · May 1 · 10:49 AM
Good resolutions!
marjon · May 1 · 4:41 PM
maggie, you know i'm the same way, terrible at taking compliments - always have, always will be. i'm better at it now, but my suspicious evil mind thinks bad things first before accepting these compliments as truth rather than a way to bring me up ... and then down.
the horrors of elementary school recess will haunt me forever!
sandra · May 1 · 4:41 PM
That seems pretty common, and I'm glad to hear it, because I too am terrible at accepting compliments. I always think of some explanation, other than my own doing, for why things turned out the way they did.
Sounds like it was the official BBQ weekend for everyone, I also enjoyed a great BBQ followed by a campire (well it's tne 2nd in a row for me... I seem to be a bbq whore).
Soosan · May 1 · 6:03 PM
Well, I think you're smart and funny and lovely. And from what I've seen, your house is charming.
This was a test. Did you pass? PS? All of them are true.
I have a similar problem. I have learned to take a compliment well. I'll say "Thanks!" brightly and shutup. Still, inside, I'm thinking they don't really mean it. Oh, except about my house. It's pretty sweet.
Michael · May 2 · 3:38 PM
and you have great hair... right? :)
Soosan · May 2 · 5:47 PM
Thank you, Michael. There, how was that? Mostly my problem isn't that I doubt people are being sincere, but that they couldn't possibly have enough information to give the compliment. For some reason it's so hard for me to just take credit. When the compliment has something to do with how I look, depending on how I feel about myself that day, I'll either be very pleased or I'll think it's a pity compliment. And Michael, now I want to see pictures of your house!
Soosan, I actually do have great hair. It's just that it's arranged poorly. ;) The quality of my hair is good, but I am way overdue for a haircut. Just a trim, please. I'm growing it out.
Maggie · May 3 · 10:04 AM
I'm exactly like Michael. And I know it is stupid. But I can't help myself.
Marjon · May 3 · 10:17 AM